These three sentences come from couples counselling theory, but they work in any close relationship.
Are you using these phrases with the people you love? I’d love to hear about your experience with this.
Until Soon,
Tamika
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Loved hearing your wisdom today and sharing your beautiful energy. Thank you. I have found “I understand” to be super helpful.
It feels so good to be understood. XX
Lovely post Tamika, When we are in a heated discussion and I find neither are bending or nothing is actually being heard or accomplished. I usually try to be aware of the sentence “I am listening”. Sometimes it helps for me to become a little more quiet and if he is feeling passionate about something & im not being heard. I will look at him, shake my head, be tender & start to use the above “I am listening” I find it helps to soften the situation & him…. he knows his point of view is being heard and often then we can get to the place of quiet discussion. It has been successful for me to diffuse a few different people when they are truly upset, allowing us to get to a place of quiet more gentle discussion.
I am listening,—what a beautiful practice. I can see how this would soften everything. Thanks so much for sharing. 🙏🏼
Just a few days ago, I was experiencing difficulty with my intimate relationship partner. He and I can sometimes be from completely different worlds. I accused him of not being completely invested in our relationship. He felt angry and, when he laid it all on the line, I realized he was right. I had been missing the cues all along. I apologized, acknowledged his investment in our relationship and, rather than calling myself an idiot, I told him he was right…and it felt good. Of course, up until I watched your video, I didn’t have the language to describe the process. I just had the sensations in my body to which I paid close attention. Many thank for this video. I especially loved the comments in your conclusion. Those words aren’t spoken nearly enough.
You make an important point about compassion toward ourselves when we realize we’ve missed the intention of the other person. I love the practice of listening to our body as we engage with people we love. Thank you for your wisdom. 💚