Your Brokenness is Beautiful

by | Mar 7, 2016 | 45 comments

A couple days ago a badly injured bald eagle dropped from the sky outside my cottage while my dogs and I were relaxing in the sun. Immobilized but very much alive, his intense eyes warned us away as he struggled to move. He was enormous, rugged, frightened and shaking.

Never before had I witnessed a creature so determined and strong, yet weak and broken at the same time.

He was a complete contradiction. He was beautiful.

My heart raced and my fingers fumbled as I got the dogs inside and dialed the rescue service. They were on their way, but weren’t nearby–it would be awhile. They told me to cover him with a blanket if he tried to fly.

Approaching him slowly, it didn’t look good. His massive wings were outstretched but his legs were buckled awkwardly underneath. Flying was impossible.

Of all the animals I’ve come across that needed help or just needed space to die–rabbits, raccoons, squirrels, dogs, cats, rodents, and countless birds–I have never known any to convey such raw strength and pride.

Even shaking and struggling, he had unstoppable strength.

I thought about my own shaking and struggling these last couple weeks. Life had cycled rapidly between miracles and obstacles, teaching me not to get too attached to anything–good or bad.

One day I was on top of the world, healthy, bounding up a mountain, and the next day asthma barely let me walk down the driveway. I had a wonderful cottage offered one week, and the next week the owners had a buyer–then the cottage was available once again. An unexpected bill, followed by a surprise cheque–you get the idea. My head was spinning, and global events felt the same–huge victory for the rainforest, and then…Donald Trump? Life was moving so fast I could barely keep up.

I couldn’t ride the highs and lows anymore–I finally hit my breaking point.

My breaking point comes after I’ve “held it all together” too long, pretending I can handle anything and everything. Like an electrical storm that builds in intensity, the breaking point is like lightning that releases old, stale, pent up energy. For some people, the breaking point comes through an explosion of anger, an illness that lands them in bed, or even self-destructive behaviour. For me, it’s usually a surrendering, letting go, not giving a sh*$!, and allowing myself space to cry. It feels like dying to my old self.

The breaking point has a familiar sweetness–even if I don’t always recognize it in the moment. It shows me I’m so much more than the circumstances of my physical life.

Dying to ourselves is an art form each of us acts out in our own way. Don’t you dare mistake it for weakness–breakdowns are breakthroughs. They can bring us back to life, stronger than before.

But don’t get swallowed up by the bleakness of those mini-deaths. Don’t stay too long. Your brokenness doesn’t excuse you from the work you’re here to do.

I sat with the eagle for an hour. I sang to him, and told him he was incredibly loved and admired. I asked questions, and listened to the silence between us. Dogs barked in the distance and eagles called out overhead. I spoke to him about how this world is in flux, in great and small ways. Of course he knew that already.

He relaxed a little, but never once took his fierce eyes off me.

“Most humans are good,” I spoke softly, “even though looking down, it must seem like we’ve all lost our minds. We’ve forgotten the natural ways of life, and how to truly connect with one another–we’re caught in a competitive, consumerist nightmare,” I apologized sheepishly, also for myself. “But we’re slowly changing, waking up from our ignorant sleep. It’s going to get better–I promise we won’t let you down.”

Time stood still sitting beside that bald eagle. He reminded me that my brokenness doesn’t make me weak. It doesn’t prevent me–or this world–from being strong. I realized I was reassuring myself, not him. He was a messenger; he was a witness.

Humanity may be broken, but what if that’s exactly what we need right now?

I believe in us, in the strength of the human spirit. Underneath it all, we have an unstoppable strength.

Our brokenness is beautiful.

A huge thank you to my Facebook community and the Subtle Energy Body Graduate group who sent loving, healing thoughts this weekend. I knew I could count on you to understand the healing power of distant mental influence. I felt you there with me! The eagle remains in critical care. Leave a comment below if you wish to be notified on his progress, and I’ll post an update.

45 Comments

  1. cathy everett

    tamika, thanks for still being connected to me even from a far. I look forward to your posts, and lose myself when i read them. you are truly amazing and i am thankful for our distant friendship.
    story of the eagle is so powerful, please keep me updated

    Reply
    • Tamika

      It’s wonderful to hear from you Cathy! Thank you for the kindness, and for shining YOUR light in this world. I’m so glad we’re connected. xOm

      Reply
  2. Wendy

    The strength that you Tamika, and the Eagle possess and share between each other is incredible. He fell upon your yard, in a time where you both needed each other – and certainly extended healing all the way back here too !.So much love and healing energy has been sent and continues to be. Thank you for sharing such a strong source of healing with animals and nature. More love and healing for the Eagle and you. xoxo

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Thank you Wendy. Eagle medicine is powerful for all of us! As the vet said “eagles always fight until the very end,” and I think there’s something for us all in that. Surrender to the old, but never give up.

      Reply
  3. Sara

    Thank you for this. Please post an update on that beautiful creature.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Will do Sara. Thanks for appreciating him in this way.

      Reply
  4. Shannon

    I have been sending healing thoughts since I saw your post. Thanks for writing this – I was wondering how he was doing. I would love updates.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      I really appreciate your healing thoughts Shannon! His prognosis is not good, but they haven’t given up on him. Will keep you posted.

      Reply
  5. Anouschka

    I am in tears. Thank you for writing all of that so clearly and honestly. The eagle has been on my mind all weekend and will continue to send healing energy.
    And again thank you for your brilliant article. I get it.
    Noush

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Your honesty inspires me too Anouschka. Thank you for your love! xOm

      Reply
  6. Krista

    What a beautiful article. Thank you for your perspective 🙂

    Reply
    • Tamika

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Sincere thanks for all you do to make this world a less broken place. xOm

      Reply
  7. Patricia Fowler Gelinas

    This I believe….
    “That I stand shoulder to shoulder with wisdom, in the heart of every flawed, beautiful, damaged and recovering soul that tries to make a difference, to do better, to walk taller and leave a better legacy than those who went before them – and that this wisdom is, in fact, a whisper from a million lips, the jewels threaded on a web of connections, heart to heart, and hand to hand, and if we drop it, or question it, or just write it down wrong, it’s okay, because it will always return, because it belongs to none of us and all of us, and the truth cannot be trademarked or licensed, or silenced, so long as one good person turns to another and says: ‘this, this I believe, with you, and for this we shall take a stand’.”

    Theodora Wildcroft — United Kingdom

    Dear Tamika,
    Standing with you and for you and Eagle. Thank you for sharing.Sending Love. From Patti

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Truthbumps! Every word a jewel to hold close–we stand together! XO

      Reply
  8. Tara Thomas

    Wow, what a beautiful insight Tamika, thank you for sharing. A powerful messenger dropped from the sky in your back yard needing your help and intern you helped each other. So magical! Xoxo

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Thanks for “getting it” Tara–it was an experience I’ll never forget. xOm

      Reply
  9. Frank Hastie

    Amazing share and so much truth out of life’s circumstances. I spend a bit of each day wondering how “Tamika’s” eagle is doing. So much unyielding power from both of you, amazing. Always think of you on your journey!

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Coming up to Subtle Energy again Frank, I’ve been thinking of you too. Thanks for all your support, wisdom, and kindness!

      Reply
      • Frank Hastie

        Very close to Subtle Energy! Best thing I have ever done for myself; twice haha!!

        Reply
  10. Mindy

    Thank you for this Tam. So resonates. I watched a similar experience unfold with a badly injured crow and it was so profound. I so hope this beauty bird recovers but if not what a peaceful person to be with near the end, singing, talking, loving…..

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Oh Mindy, you are a keeper of the earth secrets! I honor you and that crow who touched your life. xOm

      Reply
  11. Brenda Dowell

    Tamika – thank you for sharing this experience & your insights through your writing! I continue to be inspired by your perspective, honesty & willingness to be seen! I always gain an expansive way of viewing my life & the world by reading your words! thank you! love Brenda

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Love you Bee. You have that eagle spirit! XO

      Reply
  12. Catherine

    You are such a beautiful writer, Tamika. Thank you for sharing your insight – your compassion, wisdom and strength are inspirational. It is so uplifting and comforting to see “weakness” through this view. As a sensitive person who pushes herself hard (and then reaches the breaking point), it is incredibly beautiful to see strength in the brokeness and infinite possibility moving forward. Sending you depths of love to ride these waves yourself and to that majestic eagle too. Please keep me posted; I’ll continue to send love and healing west. xoxo

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Thank you so much for sharing how this impacted you Catherine. I felt like the eagle was saying “I’m injured–and it’s bad–but I’m no less magnificent than I was before, so back off!” Here’s to us all remembering our magnificence when we’re injured, or reminding each other when we forget. xOm

      Reply
  13. Lindsay

    I love you Eagle! Sometimes we need to come down from flight to appreciate the sky.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Awwwww he loves you back! Beautifully said, Lindsay.

      Reply
  14. Lisa

    Dearest Tamika, such a powerful message from you and eagle.
    In gratitude, an Apache Blessing
    May the sun bring you new energy by day.
    May the moon softly restore you by night.
    May the rain wash away your worries.
    May the breeze blow new strength into your being.
    May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      Beautiful. Thank you Santosha!

      Reply
  15. Helen Valks

    Beautiful Tamika! The beauty of witnessing such an amazing being up close. The beauty of you holding space, honoring, loving and sharing wisdom with him. There are no coincidences. Chances to relate to such a power animal are by design. You were chosen and you stepped forward with your wisdom, love and willingness.
    Please keep me posted on his condition.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      I will keep you posted Helen, and looking so forward to seeing you at Subtle Energy again this year! All my love, xx

      Reply
  16. Jennifer

    Such a beautiful and heartfelt process you have been moving through Tamika and what a blessing this Eagle has bestowed on you and you on Eagle. I’d love to hear more updates as you learn them. Much love.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      I will keep you posted Jennifer. Thanks so much for lending your love to this special creature. xOm

      Reply
  17. Ariadne

    Gorgeous + brilliant post. Just like you!
    Loved this in particular – ‘Your brokenness doesn’t excuse you from the work you’re here to do.’
    Keep me updated on you + the eagle…
    xoxoxo

    Reply
  18. Kathryn Braul

    I wondered… In flight, with the beating of wings, is there an upbeat? Or always a downbeat and recovery? Soaring I know is different…riding that supportive updraft.
    Thank you for writing about the eagle and being there for him.

    Reply
    • Amanda Eriksen

      Kathryn, can the recovery be uplifting? Comparing the beat of a wing to a breath in my body, after I exhale, by body quickly draws air in to recover what was lost, but as I close my eyes and feel the breath, there is a lightness to the inhale, an uplifting feeling. So too could there not be a lightness to the wing? Can the recovery not be upbeat? Now to soar on the supported updraft – now that is one of the amazing joys of life!!

      Reply
  19. John Askey

    Thank you for this. it was inspirational to read, best wishes and please post an update on yourself and that beautiful creature.

    Reply
  20. Amanda Eriksen

    Tamika,

    Thank you for your words. Every time you write it is as if a reflection of me is speaking. I truly feel that as you speak from your heart and soul – it resonates so that my inner voice is saying – YES! YES! So thank you! I know that you and the eagle have the wisdom, strength and courage to do what you need to do – and I know you both know it too! That being said, you are both in my heart, and I trust that this connection will bring you extra strength when you need it most.

    So Much Love!
    Amanda

    Reply
  21. Sandy

    Oh Tamika, so amazing. Thanks for the message just when I needed it. Your eagle knew what he was doing by dropping into your life.

    Reply
  22. Donna Hammond

    Tamika .. that beautiful Eagle knew it was you and your loving ways down below and that’s why he chose to fall to earth near you. Thank you for the beautiful article and the picture..only on SSI could this happen.

    Reply
    • Tamika

      XOXO Donna

      Reply
  23. Colleen

    Powerful medicine! Such an amazing gift from spirit. Devoting my practice to this beautiful creature. Thanks for sharing. Your stories always inspire me. xoxo

    Reply
  24. Bonnie Gardiner

    A timely article for me as I struggle with trying to figure out where I am and where I need to go. Seriously! I’m 55 – shouldn’t I have this s^*&*t all figured out by now? Now I know I can just be beautiful in my brokenness til I take flight again…

    Reply
  25. Maria

    Your are a Beatiful soul Tamika ?

    Reply
  26. cindy

    Oh Tamiya another beautiful inspirational tribute to what is! This magical writing sits very close to my heart and soul at this time!
    Thank you so much for continued sharing and inspiration!!!
    Much love and Blessings xo

    Reply

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