All you need is love—and boundaries.
Boundaries are like love. They always get the attention of the Universe.
Wait—can’t I just have the love part? I’m a lover, not a fighter—can’t we all just get along and be happy?
The answer, unfortunately, is no.
Unless you want to live a life without dignity, honesty, integrity, personal power, clarity, and focus, you’re going to have to set some personal boundaries.
This can be hard for those of us who are open hearted, sensitive, and natural givers.
We feel the needs of other people and don’t want to let anyone down.
If we weren’t allowed to set boundaries for ourselves growing up, it can be more difficult to set them as adults. Similarly, if we had to be clever and creative to get our needs met, it can be hard to respect other people’s boundaries—we think we can work around their “no,” and find a way in.
Personal boundaries have saved my life, but they haven’t always been easy.
When my self-worth is taking a hit, I can still go through days where it feels impossible to say no to the outside world.
Some of the stories we tell ourselves that prevent us from setting boundaries are:
It’s rude to set boundaries.
People won’t like me if I say no.
A good (insert role-driven expectation here) would say yes. (a good mother, friend, sister, aunt, teacher etc.)
Who do I think I am to turn down such a great opportunity?
What will people think?
What if I miss out on something by opting out? (FOMO=fear of missing out)
We can get stuck in these fear-based thought patterns, or we can set loving boundaries, and begin something new.
In order to say yes to something, we must say no to something else.
What do you think of all this? In the comments below, I’d love to hear how this is working in your life.
To your freedom,