Loss never gives us that bouncy, jump out of bed feeling. It’s not meant to.

Grief and loss are heavy stuff.

But overcoming, transforming, and rising stronger than ever—there’s some nice words we can get excited about!

Ugh—can’t we just have rebirth without all the grief and struggle?

Na, it doesn’t work that way.

It turns out loss and transformation are a happily married couple.

We can’t be the Phoenix unless we cough up a little ash.

“Luckily,” life gives us multiple losses (big and small) over a lifetime.

So we can fall and rise, and renovate ourselves again and again. Sometimes grief crushes our spirit beyond repair—but it doesn’t have to.

Carolyn Burke joins me on the Joycast to talk frankly about death, loss, and how to support ourselves, and others.

Are you Rock, Feather, or Stone today? Use your intuition to choose, and click here to watch the video.

What helps you (and your loved ones) cope with grief and loss? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.



Helen Valks says

Thank you for sharing this. It emphasizes our discomfort with anything but joy or comfort. It is refreshing, healing and an about face in the time of pain to have that validated . Your opening phrase is so true for me. We come to occasions in our life that we indeed have to go through. There is no path around them. It is during these times we have our greatest opportunity to tap into our strength, our spirit and innate wisdom allowing for that transformational growth.
You know you have reached the end of the journey of that growth when you can look back with gratitude for what the incident taught you. Not for the incident but what came from it.
Pema Chendron says life is a series of deaths. There is never just one or two but a continuum. They shapes us as we grow with it and become who we are meant to be in our fullness. Love you both Asha


Tamika says

Thank you, Asha, for your love, wisdom, and for the beautiful Pema Chodron quote! XOXO


Varana says

Thank you, as always for sharing your heart, soul and wisdom. Beautiful timing of this joy cast on Grief! I didn't know until a short time ago that there was such a thing as going head on onto the pain of grief and loss. My last 6 years has presented more of this than I would wish upon anyone. However, in saying that I have learned to be with emotion and not hide. I have learned to express to those that I trust. I have come in and out of the phases on numerous ocassions, and recognize that each time the pain is less and the gratitude for what I have recieved is so much more. In turn, I am able to share some of these experiences with others and hold space for others to grieve and share.
Today I chose both the Feather and the Crow they landed at the same time as you mentioned them... The feather with a little more weight.
Love you both so much.
Varana xoxo


Tamika says

Dear Varana, I LOVE IT that the feather and crow landed for you today. You are so brave, facing the dark like a love-warrior! Sending hugs and love, Tamika


Hasana says

Funny, I picked rock almost before I heard the other options, and of course the message was perfect. This last year has been one of major adjustment for me and I have spent it telling people "things are good" and "I'm ok" but the truth is, its been a year of grieving. Thankfully I've had some amazing teachers who have taught me, the only way out is straight through. I have allowed myself the time and space necessary to move through knowing I just won't unpack and live there.


Tamika says

Wonderful to hear from you, Hasana. You are an amazing teacher and example of an inspirational human! Sending so much love as you journey down a new road. Love, Tamika xx


Jim says

Hi Tamika,

Appreciate how your sharing challenging personal experiences in an really authentic way but also supporting us with strategies and tools to help us take care of our self and each other.
Love your wholistic approach to multiple perspectives and ultimately I always find a lesson, thought, feeling that resonates with me.
The joycast serve as an inspiration/launch pad for prepping themed classes I'm teaching - I'm grateful for the work you do and how you share it. Thanks


Tamika says

Jim, thank you for writing today and I absolutely love that the Joycast is helping with your themed classes! Grateful you're on this ride and part of the community, much joy, Tamika xOM


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