Video: Cord-Cutting for Troubled Relationships—When Talking Doesn’t Help

by | Dec 7, 2016 | 18 comments

We humans have a deep desire to be understood. When someone “gets us”—really understands where we’re coming from—it feels amazing.

Without meaningful connection, life can feel empty and isolating.

Spoken communication is one way we create connection in relationships. It acts as a bridge, helping us understand one another and solve problems.

But what if our best efforts to communicate don’t make a difference?

Sometimes we speak our truth with kindness, but aren’t heard or understood. Talking can make things worse because it just opens up the wound—or it isn’t even an option anymore because the relationship has ended.

Sometimes healing problems in our relationships requires a touch of magic.

When someone is controlling, they’re trying to change us. Usually they want something—something we cannot give. In these situations, it can be more difficult to budge stuck patterns.

We always have our part to play in stressful relationships—it takes two. We may have given our power away or gone along with something that didn’t feel good. Sometimes a tough situation shows up because we needed the lessons to wake us up—to snap us back to what’s really important, or to help us stick up for ourselves.

Cutting cords helps loosen the grip of these situations.

Cord-cutting honours the positive part of the connection, while drawing a much-needed line in the sand.

The video starts with how I’ve used cord-cutting in my own life. After the discussion, sit back or lie down and relax, and I’ll guide you through. For old situations or stubborn patterns that feel impossible, cord-cutting can be practiced 3-5 days in a row. If you only have time to do it once, trust once is enough!

Did this work for you? If so, I’d love to hear in the comments below.

Carry on, Magician,
Love, Tamika

Cutting energetic cords was introduced to me by Elizabeth Harper and is based on the work of Phyllis Krystal. I’ve added the violet flame to the practice.


  1. Reina Tendler

    Dear beautiful one, I thank you….
    This felt so powerful and so right…
    The simple sweet way you shared this cord cutting is a true gift!
    Truly I saw and felt it all…..
    My heart is filled with gratitude
    All love

    • Tamika

      Dear, Sweet Reina, thank you for sharing. I love our ever-crossing paths and I love you my sister. xOM

  2. Caila

    This obviously came at the perfect time! I was having a difficult time letting go of the start of a relationship, and how my feelings first unfolded. The perfectionist in me was wanting to make up for this- and therefore I wasn’t living in the moment now or allowing myself the space to accept that maybe that’s how it needed to start.

    I even drew out the imagery- I feel a lot lighter and accepting that messiness happens when two souls like you said come together.

    Thank you!

    • Tamika

      Cailaji, Messiness indeed! You’re absolutely courageous facing the natural messes of relationships with love and truth. I love that you drew out the imagery—so powerful and you’ll have that physical talisman as confirmation of what you’ve done and what you’ve let go of. Thank you for sharing with all of us XOXO

  3. Jill

    Cleansing and releasing in such a loving and thoughtful way !!
    It was a wonderful experience for me. I will be using cord cutting meditation again and again
    Thank you Tamika
    Much love and peace

    • Tamika

      Wonderful, Jill! It makes me feel lighter too, and I’m so glad it worked for you. XOXO

  4. Shell

    Thank you so so much for this Tamika. I really needed this last step to just release something that took me years to realize I had to let go of for my own emotional well being. And it feels SO wonderful! You are amazing at this guidance, so calming, supportive and we are all blessed to be able to connect with you here. Thank you for that.

    • Tamika

      I feel it too, Shell! Sometimes this is just the thing to let go at the next level. I feel your courage. Thank you for letting me know it helped you today! xOm

  5. Kaitlin

    Love this!!! Wonderful. ?

    • Tamika

      <3 <3 <3

  6. Sandy

    When the video started I had one person in mind, but my ex husband, who has passed away, kept coming up. I kept pushing him away but to no avail. 🙂 It was not any negative cords, but just one big one that I needed to release to let him go even if I didn’t want to. It just seemed right. I think he was stuck here with me. So more tears but more peaceful now. Lots of gratitude for everything he taught me. And lots of gratitude to you, Tamika, for showing me things even if I didn’t know I needed them. Love, love , love.

    • Tamika

      Sandy—what a deep and powerful experience that came in for you. Thank you so much for sharing this. What a gift for you both to have danced the earth dance together. So much love back to you.

  7. Brenda

    I Love the simplicity of this and for me it’s power in transmuting old energy that doesn’t serve my highest good…..
    thank you! I love your work and willingness to put yourself out there!
    much love, Brenda

    • Tamika

      Love to you, Bee. Thank you for bringing the Violet Flame into my life in a way that felt concrete and applicable!

  8. Wendy Varana

    This is such a beautiful and gentle practice. Thank you for sharing your experiences and guiding this practice. I have a person who I’m consistently triggered by, and her behavior shows up everywhere ! The imagery I was able to have was amazing and helped so much, and to thank the person for all that she has given me over time and the lessons I have learned – Amazing. I love that the negative cords are the ones released – and I could create a calming “letting go” experience. Thank you for your gifts you share with us .. Love you xo

    • Tamika

      Thanks for sharing, Varana. Love you so, Tamika XOXO

  9. Laura Akira

    Dearest Tamika-
    Thank you for this post. It was exactly what I needed to clear what has been an incredibly difficult year. Being thankful for the lessons learned from this relationship was difficult… but wow, so necessary. My heart feels softer…more open… the imagery was powerful. Thank you so much for following your truth and for guiding others to find theirs.
    OM Shanti dear one

    • Tamika

      Akira, I’m so happy this was helpful. Sending love and gratitude out to you XOXO


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